i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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