mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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