The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think your dad took our porno
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
