Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
