I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
