yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
