With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
