he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
