You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
