a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
