what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
