my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
