We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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