We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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