Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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