i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
