we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
