11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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