I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize