the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
