Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize