he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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