I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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