I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
