No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
