I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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