i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
