There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
