He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
