I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
