i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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