his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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