im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So much rum. So many feels.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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