two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
