You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you had me at cake vodka
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
