How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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