Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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