Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
