I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
