Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
