just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
