two words: eviction party
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
