would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
cat food counts as protein by the way
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
