I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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