How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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