Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
