when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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