My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
