with your own penis?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
