At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
