I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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