worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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