Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
