Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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