There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize