Midget sex pt 2 tonight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
