..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
